Press the Life’s Play Button

Too often, women put lives on hold until they lose weight. But most of the things that we postpone we could do right now, before we drop a single pound. Here are some of the most common things that women put off and some easy steps we can take to press life’s play button, according to Joni Johnston, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in Del Mar, California, who specializes in body image and eating disorders.

What we avoid: Wearing a swimsuit.
Why: We’re insecure or embarrassed.
How to overcome it: At first, put on your swimsuit when you’re at home, but don’t go out. Just walk around in it. Look at yourself in the mirror. Eventually, just the act of wearing one in private will make you more comfortable with wearing one in public. For your first few forays to a public swimming pool or beach, go with a large-size friend or a group of large women. Or take a water aerobics class designed for large women.

What we avoid: Going to the doctor.
Why: Fear that the doctor will make treatment contingent on weight loss and or that the doctor will blame all our health problems on weight.
How to overcome it: Keep shopping around until you find a doctor with whom you are comfortable. Know your body well enough so that you can stick up for yourself if your doctor blames an unrelated health problem on your weight. Be assertive. Tell the nurse that you prefer not to be weighted.

What we avoid: Asserting ourselves at work and in relationships.
Why: we feel that we don’t deserve to have an opinion. We feel that the sort of person who speaks up must be thin and beautiful, a category in which we feel we don’t belong.
How to overcome it: Know that everyone’s opinion is valuable. Stop focusing on your body and focus on internal strengths, such as your intellect or your kindness. If you need a jump start, take an assertiveness class.

What we avoid: Enrolling in continuing education courses.
Why: Underneath our body worries, we wear a general fear of failure. We feel that we don’t have enough time to focus on school until we are finished “fixing” our bodies. We feel that our weight is the big problem and our desire for learning the small problem in life. Also, for some people, there’s the fear of not being able to fit at a desk.
How to overcome it: if you’re wasting more time than necessary worrying about appearance, put some of that time into your education. Realize that desire to learn is the real issue, and your appearance is not. If you are worried about fitting into a desk, go to the school’s office for people with disabilities. They are required by law to make sure that there are desks available for large people.

What we avoid: Dating.
Why: Low self-esteem; the fear of setting ourselves up for rejection; the though, “Any man who would want me must have something wrong with him”; and the assumption that men won’t find us attractive.
How to overcome it: Focus on aspects of yourself that are appealing rather than the flaw you usually obsess about. Mentally rehearse all the reasons that someone would find you desirable. Remember that you are more likely to worry about minor imperfections in your appearance than others are. Know that men are not as critical of women’s bodies as women are of their own bodies. In the long run, mates choose one another based on personalities, values, and morals. Appearance may rank high for first dates, but meaningful relationships are based on deeper factors.